Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Letter to my cold

Dear random virus,

I don't know what I have to do to put the message out that your kind is not welcome around here. I've been staying away from the sick people. When a client says "I feel like shit" I get up and move to the other side of the room. I don't play with the little kids and hold their hands in karate. And I sure as hell don't hang out in the doctor's office any longer than I have to. How much vitamin C, Zinc, sleep, vegetable soup, orange juice, hot tea and warm blankets is it gonna take to get you to move on?

I'm sure there are a lot more bodies out there that would be a much better home for you. People with bigger mucus membranes and smoker's lungs and deteriorated immune systems just putting out the welcome mat for you. Go see them and leave me the fuck alone!

Hoping you fuck off and die,


  1. It's odd but no matter how much prep you do to keep cold and flu germs away from you, they still attack you. I work with kids every day and I am sick probably 4-5 times each year. I've just accepted it as part of life. I'm sorry you're sick. Even with the precautions, the germs are gonna getcha. I miss hanging out w/you--feel better soon!!!

  2. I imagine the town sheriff breaking your cold's left tail light.


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