The Finish Line

Is less of a line than a hastily drawn maze consisting of a series of squiggly intersecting lines. Those lines might lead to a bunch of dead ends that don't actually connect but until you start drawing your path you won't know.

That's the ending of my novel, in a nutshell. It is messy, it was rushed, it more than likely has a whole lot of lose ends that seriously need to be tied up (I think I got one of my MCs out of coma by accidentally knocking a get well plant on him, I'm not sure because it was one in the morning by the time I conceded to end the damned thing and go to bed.  And no, I don't care that that's technically one hour over the dreaded midnight deadline- I'm counting it!)

HOWEVER- and this is the important point here- it's DONE. My ending, while incomplete and messy and possibly even slightly nonsensical at the end, is actually written. And while it may require extensive work to be anything near what I pictured it to be while writing it it's at least there. It exists. And of all the novels I have written (and this is number 3), this is the only one I can say that about. For the first time- ever- I actually finished a novel in November.

Here are the stats: Before last night's writing session I had a total of 52, 371 words. After last night's month end blow-out I have a total of 59,576. That means that last night over the course a mere four hours I wrote 7,205 words. In four hours! I can't help but be a little impressed with myself.

It was nothing like any of the other writing sessions I've ever had. I wasn't aiming for word count, I wasn't trying to think of the next scene, I wasn't typing without any real sense of where I wanted my words to take me. It was like running down a busy sidewalk- I had somewhere I needed to be. So yeah, it was chaotic and frenzied and I'm sure I tripped up a bunch of times but I ran. And I got to where I wanted to end up.

So even though I have daymares of reading the thing and finding a Swiss cheese- like number of plot holes, or characters that are even less than one dimensional, or scenes that make no sense whatsoever I can at least say that the first draft has been written. And I've never been able to say that before.

Which makes this the single biggest accomplishment I've had as a NaNoWriMo writer thus far. Because all the pep talks and all the encouragement and all the writing buddies and all the group writing sessions and all the web videos and all the stuff that goes into making NaNoWriMo such an amazing event actually led me to complete my own personal goal. Beyond the arbitrary word count number, beyond the fun of just participating. I set a personal goal and I reached it. So regardless of what happens next I am pretty damned proud of myself.

Still Not

Done.  Wrote, but only a few hundred words before I fell asleep.  It's maddening to be this close to the end and have this much creative constipation.

I've got one more day.  One more day to finish this damned thing.  If that last possible minute pressure doesn't do it for me I don't know what will.

Full Steam Ahead

So I'm still not finished, which is not surprising.  But I know almost exactly where I'm going, what's going to happen, and I am extremely confident that I can get it done by November 30th.  Current word count is an even 52K, I'm hoping I can finish out with 55K and get to the end.  If I keep writing as I did today- little over par that I've been aiming for for the month- I'll be done right on time.  NaNoWriMo 2011- still going strong!

Won and Ever So Close to DONE

Yes, it's true.  And I must, even though it is oh so self-serving, take a moment to say...

I won!  I won! I won!  I hit 50k!  And you know how?  By writing nearly 7k words in one day, that's how!  (And yes, for those of you keeping track that is my second largest single-day word count ever!!!!)  50k!!  Yay!

Ahem, what I meant to say is- yes, I have crossed the word count goal and it is very exciting.  Regardless of what comes next there is a warm, fuzzy feeling right now that nothing else aside from hitting 50k can produce and it's too yummy not to revel in.

But speaking of what comes next, I have a bigger, more important, more significant milestone to pass tomorrow.  Actually finishing my novel.  That's right- actually being able to, for the first time in the three years of doing this fantastic event, actually be able to write the words "the" and "end" on the last page after having come to a satisfactory conclusion for the story.

There have been far too many pep talks saying that the creative satisfaction one feels from actually finishing a story is far too incomparably wonderful for me not to push myself to that ultimately more important goal.  Especially because with two other novels that are both so much larger than 50k still incomplete it's impossible for me to not crave a completed (at least in first draft form) product.

So tomorrow, I will dive in once again to write that elusive last scene- the final battle to end my story.  I know where i'm going, I have a pretty good idea of how to get there.  Now it's just a matter of writing the damned thing and finally, for the first time in my life, finishing a novel.  Stay tuned!

Back to Work

Two pies, way too much time spent watching a Portal 2 playthrough and 1,868 words later I've got forward movement again.  God willing, tomorrow there will be much post-turkey semi-comatose writing and a larger word count to attest to that.

More Stress

Worked a full day and then drove down to Virginia.  In the dark.  In the pouring rain.  Did not make word count today, either.  BUT there will be much NaNoing tomorrow with the joy that comes from writing in a group.  Strength in numbers.  Massive word count boost.  Oh yes, there will be NaNoing.  And pie.

And, it’s Pre-Vacation Stress time

Went grocery shopping, made dinner, packed up many cooking supplies, bags of clothing, meds and other necessities and then passed out on the couch at 11pm.  No, I did not reach my word count goal today.  But 550 or so is better than nothing.

Another Day, Another Pep Talk, Another “Ah-ha!” Moment

So, I got another pep talk in the mail today and it reminded me of something that I have forgotten (or rather not thought of in the first place) each and every NaNo that I’ve done thus far: that I need to have an ending.  To recap: in 2009 I followed up NaNoWriMo with NaNoFiMo that December in hopes of finishing the story.  I maxed out a little over 70k with the end nowhere in sight.  Then this past summer I continued working on my 2010 NaNoWriMo novel during Camp NaNoWriMo in August with the same intent.  I maxed out a little over 80k with the end… well, somewhere in site but still very far away.

This year, I’ve been running into the same problems that I’ve encountered every other year: that I have the plot in my head, I know where I want it to go, and it progresses so slowly that I inevitably beef up the word count well before actually moving a substantial distance on the plot.

Well, this pep talk pointed out something that I have suspected all along: that it is far more creatively satisfying to finish a novel even if it is slightly rushed and not entirely fleshed out than it is to write every detail and end the month without the satisfaction of writing “the end”.  This, like all the other pointers I’ve received this month, seems like a really good idea to me.

What this pep talk suggested is that you outline the plot, figure out the four, five or however many scenes are necessary for you to get there, and write those without worrying about the transitions or intermediate scenes that don’t advance the plot.  You can add those in later, he argues.

So, not wanting to have yet another unfinished novel sitting on my computer gathering virtual dust I decided to follow this.  I have outlined what I want to have happen, I have identified the four scenes I need to get there, and I must admit that I’m already noticing an improvement in my writing.  You write differently when you have some idea where you’re going.  I can only hope it’s a good different.

Regardless, I’m happy to have a little bit of a road map in mind so I have some direction. 

(37,584 words and counting)

It's All Downhill From Here

Chris Baty (A.K.A. the founder of NaNoWriMo) claims that 35k marks the beginning of a “downward slope” in which the words flow a little easier, the ideas come a little quicker, and the process starts to gain speed as you race to the finish line.  Having finished for the day with just under 36k (35,905 to be precise) I’m really hoping he’s right.

Par For The Course

Once again I am proud to say that I made par today and am now at 34,224 words.  I have, and this is a true miracle, actually been making par most of the days so far.  There have been a small handful of days in which I was under par- but I still wrote.  And just writing everyday- no matter how tired I am, or how much stuff I have to do, or which relative is visiting- has been huge for me.  Regardless of what happens next I am proud of that fact.

It's Almost As If They Know What They're Talking About...

So, I got another pep talk in my inbox today.  It’s from Chris Cleave.  I must confess I haven’t read any of his work but I’m thinking that if it’s anywhere near as good as his pep talk is inspirational I’m gonna have to check him out.  He reported something that all of the week three pep talks, videos, blog posts and other media seem to be reporting: the magic of week three comes when your story goes in a direction you didn’t plan.  All of them seem to be talking about the same phenomenon- the week three phenomenon.

They say that new characters you never intended to write insert themselves into your story and become indispensable.  Other characters you intended to write about till the end suddenly become less important and even expendable.  Plot twists you could never have seen coming strike out of nowhere and drastically alter the course of your story arc.  And more over, they all give the same advice about what to do when you encounter this phenomenon: just go with it.  Let your crazy characters loose.  Let that plot you had your heart set on fly out the window as this new one takes over.  Let the ending be drastically different than you envisioned.

Well, wouldn’t you know it that I seem to be experiencing my own week three phenomenon and it's so ridiculously true to what all these pep talks said would happen that I can’t help but comment about it.  A character who I had never thought of, planned for, or imagined until two days ago suddenly popped up.  And within the course of only a few hundred words she has become primary to the advancement of the remainder of my plot and the eventual resolution of my story arc.  Kinda crazy, huh?

How, you may wonder, did she become so important out of nowhere?  (And I’m going to tell you even if you weren’t wondering.)  Well, my MCs discovered that the bad guy they’re fighting is not actually a millenia old vampire but rather a magic user with seemingly demon-like properties.  (Oh- and I didn’t plan for that, either.)  Given that none of my MCs are magic users they went out and found one to help them.  Within a ridiculously short period of time it became clear that if they were ever going to figure out how to beat the bad guy, it would be because of her.  And as if all that weren’t enough, my secondary MC seems to have fallen into smitten kitten mode in all of a paragraph.

I don’t understand how all this happened but I’ve read enough week three pep talks and the like that I believe I am on exactly the right track.  So I’m doing what they said to do- I’m going with it.  And the reason why I’m going with it is because I have a word count deadline.  And if this new plot is going to make those words flow then I will go wherever it may take me.  Full speed ahead!

(32,502 words and counting.)

On the Other Side of 30k

Alright, made it through the battle although by doing something I’ve never done before: skipping ahead.  I got my characters to the place wherein the battle would take place, didn’t know how to write the next part, and skipped ahead to killing my MC’s love interest.  The death and aftermath have been rewarding to write, emotionally tense as they are.  So rewarding, in fact, that I’m not even stressing about that gap.

Because in the end, all that really matters is that I’m moving forward, both plot wise and word-count wise.  I’m nearing the downhill slope that everyone says occurs during the later part of 50k (being now at 31,193 words) and I’m too excited about that to be anything other than thrilled with today’s work.

Updated Word Count: 28,708

Once again I was hoping for a big day word count-wise. And once again I squeaked out just over par. It’s not bad, it’s what I need. But I wanted so much more. It’s just hard to get out more than 2k words in a week day.

On a more positive note I am enjoying my secondary MC who is pointing out how thoroughly ridiculous my MC and her love interest are. And even better, he’s doing it by making Star Trek references which they, being so not as cool as him, totally don’t get. I’m enjoying it. And you know? I honestly don’t give a crap if anybody else would. It’s kind-of nice.

Made my daily word count, though I was hoping to sprint further ahead.  Maybe tomorrow...

Total is past 27k words now, 30k looms along with what promises to be one interesting fight scene.  Hopefully tomorrow I'll get through it and then open up the door for lots of new things my imagination can chew on.

Halfway to 50k!

So, at the end of the day, I’ve crossed the halfway point with 25,350 words. It’s not the 5k day I wanted, but it’s something. And ultimately I’m still ahead of where I need to be so that’s what matters.

Story wise (at this precise moment) I am having my MC describe the last time she fought big bad, right on the eve of fighting him in the keystone battle royal of my story arc. It is not coming easily. The words are not, ahem, flowing. All the videos I’ve been watching on you tube will tell me to skip past this part and go to the next phase of the story I actually think I can write. I’m not entirely sure how to force myself to do that, I’m more inclined to suffer through it. Having never edited one of these novels yet I can’t say whether or not it would be more or less productive to write something I hate or nothing at all. But for now that doesn’t matter.

What matters is pushing forward, one way or another, and just getting the story out. I think it’s going to be very important for me to not edit AT ALL- not one single word. Because my internal critic does not like what I’m writing and, unless kept under constant lock down, it will wreak havoc on my word document. I have to constantly remind myself that I’m doing this in order to suck so if it ends being terrible that’s not only ok, it’s good. If I can get through another 25k words, sucky or wonderful and everything in between, then this is gonna be one seriously worthwhile experience.

Big Mistake

So, I made a HUGE mistake yesterday.  I skipped a day.  I knowingly, with awareness and all reasonable ability to conclude what a horrifically bad idea it was to do this, skipped a day.  And now I am paying the price.

As I said earlier, I'm on the verge of something big and exciting.  I should be barreling into it with reckless abandon.  But instead, I've been sitting here for the past two hours occupying myself with just about every distraction I can find.  I've been watching NaNoWriMo You Tube videos (which there are a tone of, I've just discovered).  I've been writing e-mails.  I even updated my wish list for Christmas.  But I have not written more than a paragraph.  I have no idea why- why would you even ask me that?  There's no logic here, this is insanity talking!

I've got all the inspiration I could possibly need- knowledge that at this very moment, all over the world, people are sitting at their computers doing exactly what I should be doing.  I've got a keyboard in front me attached to a computer working perfectly well.  I've got a comfy chair and blanket and even a puppy cuddled at my feet.  There is nothing on my to-do list other than to write.  What more could I possibly need?

In all honesty, I could seriously do with one of those giant Roman slave drivers with a huge whip and booming voice telling me to type.  But I don't have one of those.  All I have is the knowledge that if I don't do this I am seriously increasing the likelihood of spiraling further down into a self-defeating vortex of doom which may suck the very possibility of hitting 50k right out of my soul, leaving me forever empty and lifeless.  If that's not motivation, I don't know what is.

Now, write!  WRITE LIKE THE WIND!!!!

Under Par

Only 1120 today, bringing the overall total up to 23,396.  But something interesting and unplanned did happen that will allow me to get one of my characters back into the action and hopefully lead me full speed ahead into the first big boss battle.  There will be fighting!  There will be drama!  Someone will die!  It's gotta write itself, right?  Right?  (*whimper*)

Skip The Doorway

So I got another NaNo pep talk today and I found it… disconcerting. Not because the author wasn’t displaying confidence in the NaNoist’s ability to write 50k in a month. No, it was disconcerting because it contained actual, real advice. Like advice that you might take if you were trying to write a real novel you hoped that someone other than yourself might read someday.

The advice was this: skip the doorway. Rather than describing your character walking into a room, just have them be in the room. We don’t usually go into detail about our characters bathroom activities, daily hygiene rituals, favorite method of channel surfing or chosen activity to kill time whilst sitting in rush hour traffic (unless any of those details are important plot points, of course). So why, this pep talker asks, would we spend time describing them walking through that doorway, looking out that window or slamming that car door? He advises that one should pare down the writing to the important points so that one’s reader doesn’t find themselves getting bored with exposition about mundane things which have nothing to do with plot or character development.

This is a good point. And therein lies the source of my discontent. I write about my characters walking through doorways, down hallways and into rooms. I’m pretty sure I’ve written the exact sentence “she walked into the room”, in fact. And I do it because I get caught up in the fact that those five words count towards my word count. I write a superfluous paragraph and am excited that I’m 32 words closer to 50k, rather than acknowledging that those 32 words are unnecessary and, in all likelihood, rather off-putting for a reader who might be trying to get into the story.

Now, I know I said that the point of this whole exercise was to write as terribly as I could possibly allow myself to which means that I certainly shouldn’t be worrying about what a reader might think. But that’s not actually why I’m concerned. I have a pattern in NaNoWriMo which is far more bothersome: I never reach the end.

Factin’s story, in 2009, toped off at over 70k words. Nowhere near the end of the story. Last year’s behemoth, after camp this August, is well over 80k words. (And I’ve already written about my frustration for not finishing the damned thing.) And now? Now I’m 22k words in- nearly halfway to 50k- and I haven’t even had the first big boss battle. (And there are a whole lot of really important plot points that happen between that first battle and the final showdown.) I haven’t written any of that yet.

I’ve been caught up in filler, trying to meet my daily word count by writing about the details of my character walking through that doorway, or closing that latch. And I’d really, really like to reach the end of a story for once. So I have a new task to focus on: write the story, not the word count.

I need to stop worrying about getting from point A to point B and start worrying about point B even being in there so that points C, D, E, F ad nauseum can be reached. I need to write for the sake of moving the plot forward, not for the sake of hitting 50k. I anticipate this being rather difficult, but that’s my goal. Wish me luck!

(22,267 words and counting.)

Day 9

So, the good news is that I have introduced my secondary MC. He is cute. He is geeky. He is insanely talkative. And he is perky in a way that irritates the living hell out of my MC so I’m already having fun writing the two of them bantering.

The bad news? All that banter only added up to 969 words and in the past five minutes I’ve fallen asleep twice while sitting here and staring blankly at the screen. So I’m giving up, short of the daily word count. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll go over and catch up.

Day 8 or Week Two, Depending on How You Look At It

Made my daily word count, with great difficulty.  I'm up to 19,403 words.

Potentially exciting news: my secondary MC has just arrived on the scene and and he's already surprising me with his abilities.  The oddly perky geek-boy nature of his was planned, but the supernatural abilities are coming out as I write.  (Upon first meeting him my MC watches him transform from an unassuming ficus plant into a human being- with no logical explanation.)  I have high hopes for him lightening the mood of what would otherwise be an annoyingly angsty MC-driven story arc.

Here's hoping.