How to sum up the most transformative year of my life? Well, I can't.
Not because I don't have the words but because I will be integrating
these lessons for years to come.
I came here seeking spirituality. I was hungry. I was lonely within
myself. And I was full of so much judgement and cruelty for my precious
soul that I could scarcely take anything else in. Full yet starving,
how I've spent most of my life.
The changes came fast- faster than expected. The surrender of my old
belief system- giving up the facts and scientific proofs I used to
validate everything I encountered and learning to believe in all that is
unseen. The break down of that overgrown shaming shadow- quieting that
cruel judge. The build up of my soul- that precious, brilliant self
that I'd kept in a hole for so long. And in the end, the biggest
change- the one I never saw coming- giving up my prior definition of
home and the man I used to define it. That change- the hardest one I've
ever made- has transformed everything else.
And yet, I realize, this is far from the end of the revolution. If anything, I think, this is just the beginning.
Because Yoga and meditation and circle and magick and intuitive sight
and opening and everything else I've learned over the course of this
year are practices. They are acts meant to be done day after day, year
after year. And there is no end to the depths of my soul to explore and
embrace.
And that is where my journey continues to lead me. I may be leaving
this group- this amazing, magick group of soul sisters who have left a
permanent mark on my soul and made me better through their fearless
love- as a yoga teacher. But I am still in the midst of learning.
My soul's path is clearer now. My conviction is firmer. I am braver,
stronger and more luminous- I radiate my light with more ease. But
becoming the butterfly goddess, championing the change I so desperately
want to see in the world, is a life-long journey. And I see that this
chapter, though the biggest of my life thus far, is still just part of
the story.
And as I take these next steps, I carry with me all that has come before with gratitude and love. Namaste.
Meditation is indeed wonderful. As is yoga, which I need to restart.
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