Pomegranate

Knowing that you don't know.  It's a thing.  It's a thing that's been a theme for me a lot lately.  And like most of these concepts- the simple-sounding but ultimately soul-shaking ones- it's easy to understand on the surface level.

But what it means now, in the midst of my entire life changing with me as the catalyst, is something much deeper.  It means that I can't simply say that I got it wrong, that I held onto the wrong belief and then move onto another.  It means that I have to get comfortable with the fact that no belief- not one single one- is really right.

Because there's no such thing as right.  There's only right for right now.  And those beliefs I have to let go of now- they were just as right for me back then as my new beliefs are now.  But even these will have to change eventually.

It's the idea of the cycle- the constantly changing flow of things.  It's not right or wrong- it's holding on and letting go.  "The necessity of loss."  That was the phrase that stuck in my mind today.  The way that we have to learn to let go, because holding onto anything too tightly will get you in trouble.  That whole non attachment thing.   Like I said, really easy on the surface, really hard in practice.

So I can't just let go of this belief, I can't just say this doesn't serve me anymore and move on.  I have to get comfortable being in between, being in the unknowing, being in the lost.  Because whatever I grasp onto next will ultimately prove just as destined to change.