People say "just be honest" all the time as if it's an easy, natural thing to do. What I've realized lately is that it is anything but. It is the scariest, most difficult thing we can do as humans.
Real honesty is exposure. It is allowing another person into your thoughts, feelings, desires, wounds. It is baring yourself and being vulnerable to attack. And it risks what we all fear most: rejection.
And so we're not honest. We're polite. We say trivial, inconsequential things. We talk about the weather or food or universally agreed upon safe topics that won't get us into trouble. And none of that is honest.
Honesty is raw, rough around the edges, bare-bones bravery. It is the most courageous thing we can do. It risks the ultimate rejection and the most gut-wrenching pain.
But, I'm finding out, it's a much better way to live.
So be honest. Be brave. Be open and vulnerable and scared out of your mind but too determined to back down. And yes- there will be rejection. Yes, there will be pain. But there will also be the possibility of real connection. And that is so much better than playing it safe.