So a month ago, I got really excited about posting again and I formulated all these big ideas in my mind about stories and blog hops and everything else. As evidenced by the fact that it has been more than a month since I've posted anything I completely and totally failed to bring any of those ideas to fruition. Sigh. It's a CONSTANT theme in my life- there simply aren't enough hours in the day.
But, I have been keeping busy...
Yoga- So I told you all that I signed up to start a year long yoga teacher's training last time I wrote. I officially started on June 14th. It has surpassed all of wildest expectations for what it could be- and it did even in the first class. I'd been looking for something for a while- informally for years, formally for the last year or so. And I knew, in a general manner, what I was looking for. And the search took me to some different places- none of which were really meeting my needs. When I heard about this class it sounded like everything I was looking for. Well, it was EXACTLY what I was looking for.
My mind is blown every time, I feel fed after every class, full after every class. And yet, true to the stories, I leave each time with more questions than I had when I walked in. I am learning how to love myself. I am learning how to be a woman. I am learning how to see God in every second of every day- both the infinitesimally small and the universally large occurrences of everyday. And yet, the paradox, I am more sure now that I know less than I ever did before. Like I said- mind blowing.
I am aware that this is an incredibly important, life-altering, searching, seeking time in my life. And I could not be more thrilled to be on this path. Yeah.
Running- I've still been sunning on a pretty regular basis and I'm gearing up for my second-ever half marathon next weekend. I have plans to log in a full 13.1 tomorrow so that come next week when my brain starts telling me that I can't I'll have concrete, recent evidence to say 'NO!'. (That's how it works for me- once my brain knows it's not in charge my body can go ahead and run.)
I've fallen into a bit of a pattern which I think is good because it allows my mind to wander more- I do the same loop of Valley Forge Park and because I don't have to think about where I'm going I can focus on seeing, feeling, smelling= being. I'm having a lot of Bhava moments (which we define as the moments in which you are most you, and thereby most in tune with the source) there and it's, again, feeding me.
Karate- Not surprisingly, this transformational mood I'm in has re-inspired my karate practice. I'm noticing so many links and themes and it seems like our master's own journey is taking him to similar places. He started investigating more Chinese-influenced systems a year or so ago in hopes of finding the true source of movement for a lot of broken form systems and it's led him to transition into teaching more fluid movement. Funnily enough, my home element is water. So I'm seeing water- fluid, heavy, smooth movement- EVERYWHERE now. And I'm teaching it more, and I'm seeking it more in my transitions and it's bringing up all the messages I'm getting from yoga so I'm having more of those mind-blowing moments.
We recently had our annual black belt test and for the first time I was put in a main role (along with the other third dans and masters) of running it. And then I was put in charge of running a Friday night class all by myself. (AAAAHHHH!) I'm a complete novice and I feel it in every instruction I give. But I'm trying to remind myself that that's exactly where I'm supposed to be- the awkward, messy, insecure starting point. The same messages, in every area of my life. Ain't it funny how truth works?
The area of my life that is NOT going well, and which is making me reach out more towards these things which feed me, is work. That whole "not enough hours in the day" thing it hitting me in the face every single flipping day. Not in the actual therapy- that's wonderful. But the paperwork is KILLING me and I haven't figured out how to handle it other than working longer hours, coming in on the weekends- all these things I DON'T want to do. (Which is why I'm going in today to do paperwork even though our office is closed.) I don't have an answer for this glaring gap in the otherwise exciting, transitioning landscape of my life. And although this isn't really an excuse for the lack of writing and reading that I got all excited to do earlier it is a reason for it. So I'm not going to make any promises about visiting everyone or posting every Friday. I will post when I can, comment as I can, and hope that I'm not being a bad blogger for it.
But for the moment I'm trying to focus on the progress- all those things I said above. Because that's nothing to sneeze at.
Celebrate The Small Things Linky:
My mind is blown every time, I feel fed after every class, full after every class. And yet, true to the stories, I leave each time with more questions than I had when I walked in. I am learning how to love myself. I am learning how to be a woman. I am learning how to see God in every second of every day- both the infinitesimally small and the universally large occurrences of everyday. And yet, the paradox, I am more sure now that I know less than I ever did before. Like I said- mind blowing.
I am aware that this is an incredibly important, life-altering, searching, seeking time in my life. And I could not be more thrilled to be on this path. Yeah.
Running- I've still been sunning on a pretty regular basis and I'm gearing up for my second-ever half marathon next weekend. I have plans to log in a full 13.1 tomorrow so that come next week when my brain starts telling me that I can't I'll have concrete, recent evidence to say 'NO!'. (That's how it works for me- once my brain knows it's not in charge my body can go ahead and run.)
I've fallen into a bit of a pattern which I think is good because it allows my mind to wander more- I do the same loop of Valley Forge Park and because I don't have to think about where I'm going I can focus on seeing, feeling, smelling= being. I'm having a lot of Bhava moments (which we define as the moments in which you are most you, and thereby most in tune with the source) there and it's, again, feeding me.
Karate- Not surprisingly, this transformational mood I'm in has re-inspired my karate practice. I'm noticing so many links and themes and it seems like our master's own journey is taking him to similar places. He started investigating more Chinese-influenced systems a year or so ago in hopes of finding the true source of movement for a lot of broken form systems and it's led him to transition into teaching more fluid movement. Funnily enough, my home element is water. So I'm seeing water- fluid, heavy, smooth movement- EVERYWHERE now. And I'm teaching it more, and I'm seeking it more in my transitions and it's bringing up all the messages I'm getting from yoga so I'm having more of those mind-blowing moments.
We recently had our annual black belt test and for the first time I was put in a main role (along with the other third dans and masters) of running it. And then I was put in charge of running a Friday night class all by myself. (AAAAHHHH!) I'm a complete novice and I feel it in every instruction I give. But I'm trying to remind myself that that's exactly where I'm supposed to be- the awkward, messy, insecure starting point. The same messages, in every area of my life. Ain't it funny how truth works?
The area of my life that is NOT going well, and which is making me reach out more towards these things which feed me, is work. That whole "not enough hours in the day" thing it hitting me in the face every single flipping day. Not in the actual therapy- that's wonderful. But the paperwork is KILLING me and I haven't figured out how to handle it other than working longer hours, coming in on the weekends- all these things I DON'T want to do. (Which is why I'm going in today to do paperwork even though our office is closed.) I don't have an answer for this glaring gap in the otherwise exciting, transitioning landscape of my life. And although this isn't really an excuse for the lack of writing and reading that I got all excited to do earlier it is a reason for it. So I'm not going to make any promises about visiting everyone or posting every Friday. I will post when I can, comment as I can, and hope that I'm not being a bad blogger for it.
But for the moment I'm trying to focus on the progress- all those things I said above. Because that's nothing to sneeze at.
Celebrate The Small Things Linky:
It sure isn't anything to sneeze at.Those are great accomplishments.
ReplyDeleteOMG you are one busy girl. I,m too clumsy to do any of what you described above. Great stuff that you're into!
ReplyDeletePaperwork is never fun!
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome the Yoga training is going so well. With all you do, you must be in fantastic shape.
Yoga, running, AND karate?? Just one of those would tire me out for the whole day. I hope you have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteTalk about athletic! Have a Happy 4th!
ReplyDeleteGlad you are enjoying the yoga training. I enjoy my weekly yoga sessions.
ReplyDeletePaperwork can be a real bind. Nice to see you around whenever you can make it.
Hey Bev, I'm sure you are in great physical shape!
ReplyDeleteGood going!
Good luck on your marathon! I used to run, but it's more than my knee can handle now.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny that you mentioned yoga because I've recently started going to the yoga class at my gym. I love the hour-long quiet time.
Congrats on instructing the karate class by yourself! My kids take Kyokushin Karate and will have to do that one day, too. It will be the hardest on my older son who is very shy.
It sounds like you are a very disciplined person. I hope you find a solution to reducing your workload.
You are one busy lady, and paperwork can be a drudge, I hope you find a way to make it less so. I would love to find an Yoga class that gives all that to the participants. Sounds wonderful. Good luck with the running - I can't do it, but I do walk real fast! :)
ReplyDeleteso glad you have so much to celebrate! and how wonderful for your self-improvement and finding the greatness of God.
ReplyDeletei hope work is going better for you and you are seeing a light at the end of the paperwork!
keep that positive flow, it'll get you through the tough times!
Yay for exercise! That's my downfall--says the writer's gut. *sigh* One day at a time. We'll get that routine in place too...eventually.
ReplyDelete