I am thick with you this morning
and can’t see past the crushing weight of your expectation.
I am pinned down, overcome. It doesn’t take much of your effort to keep me there.
You could put on your horror show if you wanted.
Parade a million decrepit forms past me, my million failures and faults in your vision. Your judgment tints my whole world.
I’d give anything to be free of you.
I dream sometimes
Of rising up like a phoenix
And burning all this away, leaving nothing but ashes of the world you’ve trapped me in.
But I can never stay airborne for long.
Your hold on me is stronger than anything I know.
And even after all these years, I still can’t see