Dr. Edelstein’s All- Natural Tonic

Ladies and gentlemen, step right up- be the first to try Dr. Edelstein’s revitalizing, maximizing, energizing tonic! The strongest roborant you’ll find this side of the Mississippi. You feeling dragged down, lifeless? Your step lost its spring? Your once bright eyes dull, your once bouncy hair flat, your back aching, your feet sore, your ears ringing with the noise of the streets? Well this here tonic is the one-shot sure-fire cure-all for all that ails you! Made from all natural ingredients and brewed in the doctor’s own lab using a patent-pending distillation process this little bottle is sure to put a pep back in your stride and a smile back on your face. And today only I’m letting this little miracle go for only ten cents a bottle! Don’t crowd the podium, now- I’ve got enough for everybody!